How DMX Prayed
César “CJ” Baldelomar eulogizes the late rapper
“All dogs go to heaven” is a phrase popular enough to classify as a bromide.
Such a phrase, which deals in absolutes, does not apply to the late dog lover and rapper Earl Simmons, also known as The Dog, also known as DMX. To say that the man was complex is an understatement. From the time his raspy voice made him a rap star in 1998 to his last breath on April 9, 2021, DMX’s dramatic life played out (often painfully) before an unrelenting public awaiting the latest spectacle from the “troubled” lyrical legend.
I grew up listening to DMX. In fact, as an avid fan of West Coast gangsta rap (more specifically, of Tupac Shakur), I credit DMX with first expanding my hip-hop palate. It was The Dog who introduced me to the grit of Yonkers: his debut single “Ruff Ryders Anthem” (1998) remains emblematic of an entire generation of disaffected Black and Latinx males struggling to find their place in an unforgiving New York City—and, by extension, in urban centers throughout the United States.
Like Tupac, DMX interspersed sensitive songs [think, for example, of “Slippin” (1998) and “I Can Feel It” (1998)] among his traditional gangsta rap and hip-hop party songs. His biggest hit is “Party Up (Up in Here)” (2000)—a lyrical assault that doesn’t align with the festive beat. The song, however, best represents DMX’s complexity: a man who is both emotional and energetic, raw but scripted, expressive yet deeply introspective.
A Dog’s Prayer
None of DMX’s songs showcased his introspection to the extent of his prayers, though. Found on each of his first six studio albums, these prayers (which do not contain beats) blend supplications, thanksgivings, confessions, and meditations on life, death, and the beyond--no doubt the ruminations of a life marked by childhood trauma and drug abuse.
But, as DMX would say, every dog has his (or her) day.
I distinctly remember seeing DMX perform “Prayer (Skit)” (1998) during a concert in Miami, Florida back in 2000. I was only twelve years old then, but I still felt the power of his prayer as his words echoed throughout a silent arena full of 20,000-plus spectators. That was liturgy par excellence––indeed a liturgy I have yet to experience again in the two decades since. (I often think that DMX would have been a powerful preacher, though I find solace in that perhaps he was a more powerful preacher precisely because he was outside churchy confines.)
On the day of his death, his record label Def Jam released a compilation of his prayers:
Nothing comes close to the feeling you get when you hear DMX start praying. Every word hits deep. Even if you don't believe, you're inspired and encouraged.
— Def Jam Recordings (@defjam) April 9, 2021
Send some of the same energy back out for him while he's fighting his way back to us all. https://t.co/sxy5vFks1C pic.twitter.com/zOM6D1Jf2z
And this was (and still is) his gift and his power: DMX united an entire arena with his raucous lyrical gymnastics and hard-hitting beats, delivered through his iconic high-energy performance style ( when I see DMX perform, I recall the inimitable Freddie Mercury). But DMX not only united his audiences; DMX forged bonds with and among the audience through his prayers.
As in his life and his death, he began his performances with a bang and ended with the kind of shallow breaths that convey deep human fragilities amid life’s uncertainties. The human condition––that ineffable experience we all undergo—is on full display in his prayers. They brought several in the audience to tears, prompting concertgoers (churchgoers?) to hug those beside them or to raise their hands in the air in solidarity. From 120 decibels (common in concerts) to silence in moments that felt like heartbeats.
What else could be more mystical to a naive 12 year old?
Acknowledging that words, beautiful as they might be, have their limitations when describing the works of someone else, I now exit and allow DMX himself to dazzle you for the first time or, perhaps, to dazzle in a new way those who are already “familiar” with his evocative repertoire—an impressive artistic breadth that still cannot capture the soul, spirit, or mind of a master storyteller.
This is an opportune moment to also remember the words credited to Jesus in Matthew 18:19-20:
Again, [amen,] I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
With his music and prayers, DMX certainly brought together more than two or three.
And so, together let us pray...
Prayer (Skit) (1998)
Let us pray
Lord Jesus it is you, who wakes me up every day
And I am forever grateful for your love
This is why I pray
You let me touch so many people and it's all for the good
I influenced so many children, I never thought that I would
And I couldn't take credit for the love they get
Because it all comes from you, Lord
I'm just the one that's givin' it
And when it seems like the pressure gets to be too much
I take time out and pray and ask that you be my crutch
Lord, I am not perfect by a long shot, I confess to you daily
But I work harder everyday, and I hope that you hear me
In my heart I mean well but if you'll help me to grow
Then what I have in my heart will begin to show
And when I get goin', I'm not lookin' back for nothin'
'Cause I will know where I'm headed, I'm so tired of the sufferin'
I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection
Beggin' for direction for my soul needs resurrection
I don't deserve what you've given me but you never took it from me
Because I am grateful and I use it and I do not worship money
If what you want from me is to bring your children to you
My regret is only having one life to do it, instead of two
Amen
Prayer II (1998)
Let us pray
Lord Jesus it is you, who wakes me up every day
And I am forever grateful for your love
This is why I pray
You let me touch so many people and it's all for the good
I influenced so many children, I never thought that I would
And I couldn't take credit for the love they get
Because it all comes from you, Lord
I'm just the one that's givin' it
And when it seems like the pressure gets to be too much
I take time out and pray and ask that you be my crutch
Lord, I am not perfect by a long shot, I confess to you daily
But I work harder everyday, and I hope that you hear me
In my heart I mean well but if you'll help me to grow
Then what I have in my heart will begin to show
And when I get goin', I'm not lookin' back for nothin'
'Cause I will know where I'm headed, I'm so tired of the sufferin'
I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection
Beggin' for direction for my soul needs resurrection
I don't deserve what you've given me but you never took it from me
Because I am grateful and I use it and I do not worship money
If what you want from me is to bring your children to you
My regret is only having one life to do it, instead of two
Amen
Prayer III (1999)
Let us pray
Lord Jesus it is you, who wakes me up every day
And I am forever grateful for your love
This is why I pray
You let me touch so many people, and it's all for the good
I influenced so many children, I never thought that I would
And I couldn't take credit for the love they get
Because it all comes from you Lord
I'm just the one that's givin' it
And when it seems like the pressure gets to be too much
I take time out and pray, and ask that you be my crutch
Lord I am not perfect by a long shot, I confess to you daily
But I work harder everyday, and I hope that you hear me
In my heart I mean well, but if you'll help me to grow
Then what I have in my heart, will begin to show
And when I get goin', I'm not lookin' back for nothin'
'Cause I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the sufferin'
I stand before you, a weakened version of, your reflection
Beggin' for direction, for my soul needs resurrection
I don't deserve what you've given me, but you never took it from me
Because I am grateful, and I use it, and I do not, worship money
If what you want from me is to bring your children to you
My regret is only having one life to do it, instead of two
Amen
Prayer IV (2001)
Let us pray
Father God, I am just learning how to pray, bear with me
First I thank you for the life of everyone that's here with me
Then I thank you for the love you give me, why?
I don't know, I don't deserve it, and it hurts inside
Many a-nights I cried and called your name out loud
But didn't call you when I was doin' good, too proud
And still, you gave me love, I wasn't used to that
Most of the people that gave me love, they ended up takin' it back
That's somethin' new to me, so I'm askin' you for time to adjust
Let me make it there, I will be one you can trust
What I stand for, I put my life on, I do
I guess what I'm askin' is: show me how to stand for you
And I will rap for you, sing for you, preach for you, teach for you, reach for you
I will love you like you love me: unconditionally
And I will always be prepared for whatever the mission'll be
Give the nutrition to me, and I'll properly digest it
And when I give it back, I'll show you word well invested
And whenever I go, before I go, let me give
Thanks to you Lord, for my birth, for every day that I've lived
You gave me a love most of my life I didn't know was there
In the name of Jesus! I give you my life, 'cause you cared
Amen
Prayer V (2003)
Let us pray
Father thank you for makin' me righteous and accepted through the blood of Jesus
Because of that I am blessed and highly favored by you
I am the object of your affection, your favors surround me as a shield
And the first thing that people come in contact with is my favor-shield
Thank you that I have favor, with you and man today
All-day long, people go out of their way to bless and to help me
I have favor with everyone that I deal with today
Doors that were once closed are now open for me
I receive preferential treatment and I have special privileges
I am God's favorite child
No good thing will he withhold from me
Because of God's favor my enemies cannot triumph over me
I have supernatural increase in promotions
I declare restoration of everything that the devil has stolen from me
I have honor in the midst of my adversaries, and an increase of assets
Especially in real estate and an expansion of territory
Because I am highly favored by God I experience great victories
Supernatural turnarounds and miraculous breakthroughs, in the midst of great impossibilities
I receive recognition, prominence, and honor
Petitions are granted to me even by ungodly authorities
Policies, rules, regulations, and laws are changed and reversed on my behalf
I win battles that I don't even have to fight because God fights them for me
This is the day, the set time, the designated moment for me to experience the free favors of God
That profusely and lavishly abound on my behalf
In Jesus' mighty name we have prayed
Amen and Amen
Prayer VI (2006)
In the name of Jesus
Let us pray
Father, please walk with us through the bad times as well as the good
May we be heard and understood from the suburbs to the ‘hood
May you judge us by our hearts and not by our mistakes
And see that we get a breakthrough, however long that it takes
May you fill that void in our souls that will lay our fears to rest
’Cause there is no way we can live for Jesus when we're liven in the flesh
So I pray that you allow our sprits to be born
Grow strong, move on, know right from wrong
First John, chapter two, verse 15
do not love the world or anything in the world
and we know what that means, but listen
We know the distance we need to be away from fire to keep it missin’
That doesn't mean we'll listen
Lord, you take care of fools and babies
You teach women to honor their men and men to respect their ladies
But lately, so many of us have gone a stray
Doing wrong for so long that we've forgotten the way
Please bring us back home, instill in us the word, which is our backbone
We're just children that act grown
There is so much that we're entitled to, yet we receive so little
‘Cause in this time of spiritual warfare, we're comfortable in the middle
So I pray that you open our eyes
Give us the anointing to recognize the devil and his lies
If we keep our actions wise and our prays sincere
Our heads to the sky, you will diminish our fears
In Jesus' mighty name, we have prayed
Amen and amen
Amen.
